My first valentine and my cousin confusion...

Published on February 14, 2004 By madan In Life Journals

She called me. Gave me a blank call.
I called her up again.

We do love each other, so it seems...

I wish she were in my embrace.

Then, she told me that her mom was glaring at her...
her mom... my loving aunt... my aunt who brought me up...

yeah, shes in the family. I wish she werent, or at least I hadnt proclaimed her to be my loving sister all this while...
now its all the more difficult for us to convince both our families, oh, yeah in India, you 'cant' remain happy if you get married without your family's approval... they'll make sure you dont

An so, I go, jump on to the net and start searching about cousin relationships and inter-family marriages. Am surprised, there are two facets to this.... scientifically and legally.

Looks like its legally prohibited to marry cousins in certain states of the world....

... so sad for cousins in crush there... but fortunately for us here, in India, its more of a tradition...
hehe, we are actually, by default (just like you have your eyes and nose and all that - by default ) engaged to your maternal uncle.
There one interesting turn to this, though. You are okay to marry your aunt's( your father's sibling) daugther/son . You are also permitted to marry your uncle's ( your mom's sibling) daughter/son. But somehow, it becomes bad to marry your own cousin... oops am I in a recursion? stuck.... awk...

Now, here I'm trying to find out the mystical topic of why its sinful to marry your cousins... well, certain religions do prohibit cousin marriages, but hey, cmon am not getting into this mess...

Scientifically, well, er genetically, looks like first cousing carry a 1.5-3% more chance of transmitting genetic disorders, as they pair up in first cousins.... ( currently am looking for what a 'second' cousin exactly is...any help?

)... mmm the more I read, the more the more am convinced that I could ask her to marry me.....

Hey, looks like after all, shes my second cousin ( not in order, but by relation) and its scientifically okay to marry her...
hey, now shes my third cousin by definition(using the removed system...).....wow, farther the degree, the better, by me

Thanks to http://www.ancestry.com/library/view/news/articles/2856.asp for all the detailed relationship theories....whew, I wish I understood the database relationship theory this well

Looks like I have done quite some analysis there, but now, am feeling more confident its okay to ask her to marry me.
But, there she drops the bomb - shes not sure if she can face her parents about this.... I assumed shes the stronger of us both...

Now, there are problem and there are problems......Have a great Valentine's....

Comments

KarmaGirl

on Feb 14, 2004

A second cousin is you mother/father's cousin. Anybody who is a child of an Aunt or Uncle (your parents siblings) is your first cousin. Most places, it is illegal to marry your first cousin because it is considered "inbreeding" which causes *many* mental and physical health issues for the offspring. The "science" and "law" of that are the same because of the same inbreeding issue. Second cousins are not close enough relation for this to be an issue, and that is why they are typically acceptable (well, in most countries) to be eligible for marriage.

Superpsych

on Feb 15, 2004

I thought 2nd cousins were children of cousins? I always called my family by that, anyway! So, what are children of cousins called, then? Personally, I wouldn't marry my cousin, as they would be too close in the family - a bit like a brother, I suppose!

H

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